Everyone has a bit of darkness in them, some people embrace it, while others suppress it. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we see two versions of ourselves. The person standing there and the reflection staring back. Are they the same person, or is the reflection desperately trying to escape?
We all want to be ‘good people’ making good decisions, work hard, not take things or the people who love us for granted. Then as we contemplate whether or not we have everything we need to satisfy ourselves, the low growl of want whispers in our belly’s, a reminder that the darkness within waits patiently for us to give in.
We all look for that one person who will accept us as we are, the light and the dark. Until then, we play in the shadows of night, when our nearest and dearest aren’t watching.
Can you keep a secret?
It was a hot night, I didn’t have AC and Kim and I were both sitting back to back in front of the fan with beers in our hands. We were discussing her latest conquests when Sophie barged into my apartment. Jet black hair cut straight at the shoulders, wearing high waisted jean shorts that showed off legs for miles and soft milky skin that I imagined my mouth all over. “Ladies!” She walked over to us and squatted just over me, fanning my face with her hand. “Get up, get dressed, we have places to be.” Kim and I grumbled about the heat, I was lethargic and I wasn’t in the mood to be talked into anything. “Mikes having a party and we’re going!” Sophie announced enthusiastically while looking down at me with a failed attempt at looking fierce. I laughed a sly laugh and patted her cheek, “unless I can go naked, fat chance!” She stood and stomped into my room, quickly coming back out and throwing my bathing suit at me, “you can’t go naked, but you can go swimming.” Kim jumped at the mention of the word swim and was already heading to my room to hunt out a bathing suit for herself. “Traitor!” I called out behind her. Annoyed, I reluctantly got up and stripped the little I was wearing right there in the living room as Sophie watched triumphantly.
Heat is the master of illusions, it creates a ripple of desperation deep down in our centers, making things seem as they should not seem. Heat, makes people do wicked things. The three of us stepped into Mike’s house and I felt like I had walked into Lucifer’s playground. Half naked beautiful bodies surrounded us from every corner, the music blared and the alcohol was flowing freely. I could smell the chlorine wafting through the house from the back door, bringing the heat in with it. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, leaving my neck and shoulders exposed, desperate for any hint of a breeze. Grabbing my elbow, Sophie lead us in, always ready and eager for a good time. As we walked through the crowd, I realized I knew no one here and smirked at the audacity of all the grazing hands daring to touch my body, trying to attract my attention. I could feel her, the darkness, moving around inside my head; slowly waking up, she was restless, wanting to get out, I had kept her locked up for too long. As if I wasn’t hot enough, I felt the temperature in my body rise, beads of sweat starting to drip down my back, I felt like time was moving in slow motion. Everything felt blurry, I could feel my gears change and my eyes gloss over. Sophie looked at me sideways as we walked through the house, “there’s my girl” she cooed, recognizing the change in my eyes. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Mike leaning against the back door smoking a joint and I changed our direction. I walked right into his embrace, the heat of his body instantly reacting with mine, causing a ripple of goosebumps across my flesh. He nuzzled my ear and whispered that he had missed me. Snatching his joint, I pulled away, letting Sophie have her turn with him. I took a deep long drag, enjoying the smoke as it filled my lungs and the rush that went through my body. Not waiting to say hello, Kim snatched Mike’s beer from his other hand and took off through the back door jumping straight into the pool, clothes and all. I watched her, not having decided if I would follow right away when Sophie turned to whisper in my ear, “are we going to play?” Allowing the words to sink in, I scanned the room, I could feel my heart racing, she was excited, “yes, yes, let’s play!” I could hear her saying inside me. Mike stood then, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, he pulled me to him, “please.” It was a moment longer before I fully gave into my self. “Only if I can choose.”
When I chose him, I took my time, I let him catch me looking at him from a far. When Sophie and I danced together I made a point to run my hands along her body as provocatively as I could without giving away too much and just enough to keep him intrigued. Whenever we played this game of cat and mouse, I always preferred to lure my prey in slowly. Making them want without being able to reach. Sure that I had his full attention, I stepped away from Sophie and turned to go up the stairs, watching him as I walked up. My eyes were dark with lust, pulling him, making him follow and as I watched his body move in response, I was pleased that he was doing as I wanted. I walked into the study and I pressed my back to the wall next to the door, the momentary coolness giving me temporary respite from the heat. Walking in behind me, he took in the room and quickly found his way in front of me, placing both hands on either side of my head. He leaned in and I could feel him look into the darker parts of me, his breath quickened as I looked back into him. I allowed myself to inhale deeply, he smelled sweet, his blond hair fell over his eyes and he had an innocent air to him that made my insides jump gleefully. Leaning in closer to kiss me, I didn’t let him touch my lips, I teased him, always moving just out of reach. I could tell he was getting frustrated and I caressed his hair, “be patient” I whispered. Within that moment, as if on cue Sophie walked in, followed by Mike. About to protest the intrusion I took his chin between my fingers, putting a halt to any protests. I could see Sophie’s eyes gleaming deviantly as she approached us. “Good choice” she whispered as she took his chin into her own hand and began kissing him deeply. Mike came to my other side, his eyes were dark with want, I had definitely chosen well, but then again, I always do. Mike kissed me hard in gratitude and turned to the handsome stranger I had chosen for the evening. “Let the games begin.” I instructed Sophie to take her clothes off as Mike took a turn kissing our golden boy, who reluctant at first, gave in quickly as I suspected he would when I chose him. I slipped behind him, pulling his arms behind his body, allowing Sophie the freedom to kiss his body as she went down. I loved the way she looked up at me as she took his cock in her mouth.
I pulled back, side stepping to the other side of the room as I normally did, sliding down into the soft chair, eager to watch as their three bodies intertwined, a private show just for me. I moved my fingers along my inner thigh, slowly caressing myself over my shorts. The heat was making my head spin and the soft spot between my legs was throbbing in painful anticipation, waiting for my fingers to find the familiar path. I had brought myself to the edge a few times, not wanting to come to soon and not sure if I wanted to do it myself. As though reading my mind, Sophie crawled over to me from across the room, stopping between my legs, looking up at me hungrily. I stood and instructed her to pull my shorts down and I smiled as she did as she was told. I sat back down and leaned in to kiss her, biting her lip and tasting greedily. Pushing her away, I lowered her face between my legs and enjoyed that she was being gentle despite that I was being rough with her. She kissed my inner thigh, swirling her tongue in slow, lazy circles, moving her way towards the center. When she reached it, the sensation of her tongue against me sent spikes of electricity through my body, making my knees feel weak. I found Mike’s eyes then and we watched each other as we both filled the room with the sound of our orgasms.
We remained still for a time, enjoying the haze of our euphoria. I was still on the chair, as the three were sprawled on the floor, breathing heavily. I could feel darkness retreating into her den, smiling in victory as I did my best to pushed her back down.
These are my confessions…
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